Cemonee Massengale

Cemonee's Story

“Death changes everything. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I’d climb right up to heaven and bring you home again.” When my grandmother died, it changed my life. I felt like half of myself died with her. When my grandmother died, I started becoming very confident and dedicated to finish college so I could be successful in life.

Before my grandmother died, she was my and my brother’s only guardian. She took my brother and me in when I was nine months old and he was four months old. My mother was not stable enough to take care of us, and my father was in and out of jail. My grandmother would go out of her way to buy us whatever we wanted. Although my grandmother had been a diabetic since she was sixteen years old, it didn’t stop her from doing anything she put her mind to. She never liked going to the hospital because that made her feel weak, but she needed to go so she could stay healthy.

On November 22, 2013, my grandmother died in my bed. That morning around 2 A.M. her sugar was low and my brother and I could not find her glucose tablets, so we just went to sleep because usually when we would go to sleep she would be fine the next morning. But, this time she was not okay. When I woke up, she was lying in my bed and was not breathing. I kept on calling her name and shaking her, but she never woke up. My brother called my uncle, who lives around the corner, and told him that she was not breathing. My uncle told us to call the fire department. When the fire department arrived at my house, I escorted them to my bedroom, where my grandmother was laying in my bed. The firemen told us that she died from a diabetic coma. When they told me that she was dead, I felt like my whole world was gone because she was more than just my grandmother. She was a mother that I never had. After we had the funeral, my brother and I had to live with our auntie, whom we barely knew. After staying with her for a month, my brother and I started fighting and arguing mostly every day. To make it worse, I barely got to see my other brothers because they never visited unless it was a holiday or special occasion.

As I grow older, I realize it is not healthy to dwell on what has already happened, but rather try to control my future. Since my grandmother’s death, I am working on becoming more confident. I am applying the values and work ethic she instilled in me to be a better person who can reach her dreams. I have started thinking long-term on what my next steps in life will be, and I have become dedicated to ensuring I finish high school and get a college degree. I am doing this because I want to make my grandmother very proud of me.

I still think about my grandmother almost every day because she was my confidant, my friend, and the one person who believed in me. My auntie doesn't understand me like my grandmother did. But while I grieve my grandmother’s death, I am a much stronger, more confident, and more resilient person because of her impact in my life. I will never forget her, and she is forever going to be in my heart.